If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re sure not picking anything up. You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter’s body, I will remove them. I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don’t take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose his compromise:

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Feeling nervous about meeting mom and dad is completely normal. After all, this is a big step in your relationship. Here are the 10 rules for meeting her parents: This should go without saying, but so many guys miss this crucial point.

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Kristine-Claire Tumblr Have you seen this shirt? It has been all over the place. I like to think of myself as a feminist father. And I agree with the shirt, mostly. Being a feminist father does not mean she gets to make the rules. You have that shirt! My body, my rules.

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PIN If you’ve got a teen girl — or even a tween girl — you might have hit up against that dreaded parental encounter known as “Meeting my child’s boyfriend. But, let’s face it, parents tend to be more worried about their girl children entering into the dating world. It’s girls that get pregnant. Girls that get raped much more often. The Steubenville scandal , and all of the similar cases, happen to girls. Who wouldn’t be worried?

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I always get a chuckle out of that when it came around! Last year someone sent it to a list I was on, and since I don’t have a daughter, and in the spirit of the thing, I wrote up the following If you like it, feel free to share it, but make sure you tell the truth about who wrote it, or I’ll have to come, ummmm Alekna, and posted to my website April 28, Rule One: If my son gathers his courage and asks you for a date, this is not an opportunity to run all your errands with my car.

Sweetie, you will not ask him to take you on any little side trips to anywhere, especially the mall, where he will be expected to tag along after you as you use him first as your personal chauffeur, then as your bearer for your packages. He has his heart and soul wrapped up in taking you out, for whatever reason that may be, and he has a heart of gold, very simply, you will not take advantage of him. This will simply not happen, right?

And therefore, I simply will not hustle your shapely little behind down my front steps to dump you in the trunk with your precious packages and UPS the entire bundle to Tibet, either You do not touch my son in front of me.

10 Signs Your Daughter is Dating a Bad Boy

June 20, By Mollie Hemingway Feminists are sending around a photo on the social media and the intertubes. But that gets me to the main reflection of this piece. If the father is out of the picture or not around to discuss rules, relationship outcomes are in fact less desirable. As the National Fatherhood Project puts it: Being raised by a single mother raises the risk of teen pregnancy, marrying with less than a high school degree, and forming a marriage where both partners have less than a high school degree.

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Discussion in ‘ Clean Jokes ‘ started by Neolithium , Mar 10, If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re sure not picking anything up. You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter’s body, I will remove them.

I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don’t take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose his compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object.

Ten Simple Rules for Dating my Daughter

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Application For Permission To Date My Daughter NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, school, job and driving records, ancestral lineage, and a current medical report from your doctor.

Friday, 10 August Catholic Dating: So follow these rules and make sure your companion keeps them too, then you will be able to look your children in the eye when you have to guide them on their way to marriage and family life. While dating is part of life it should, like marriage, not be your only social outlet. Even marriages require that the spouses keep their outside friendships to prevent the spouses becoming stale and narrow, and while friendships must never disempower a marriage, dating should not disempower friendships.

Be sure your life is based firmly on prayer, reception of the Sacraments and scripture reading so that you have the spiritual strength to fight temptation. Seclusion, remember, is a precursor to what is intimate and sensual. Make your time together active times: The devil finds work for idle hands Make sure your activities are wholesome: Dress appropriately and modestly; dress to look good, but not in order to make your body a focus of attraction: Avoid actions that cause arousal: Passions are powerful and lead us astray:

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Actually, before you answer that you need to read over my ten simple rules to date her, sign your life away just technicalities , as well as give some samples of your DNA for future use, if necessary. Now that we got the small stuff out of the way, read the following rules below and if you agree and sign you may qualify to date my beautiful, wonderful, innocent and precious daughter. Rule 1 If you plan on taking my daughter on a date and come to my house and honk your horn or call her cell phone you’d better be the UPS man, because you are not picking anything up.

Rule 2 If you touch my daughter be prepared to have removal of the touching limbs from your body in any such way that I feel appropriate.

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If you pull into my driveway and honk, you better be delivering a package because you’re sure not picking anything up. You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off my daughter’s body, I will remove them. I’m sure you’ve been told that in today’s world, sex without utilizing the “barrier method” of some kind can kill you.

Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, I will kill you. You may think for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. If you make her cry , I will make you cry.

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I thought I’d share it with you guys, as I’m sure many of you are fathers who might appreciate this. Someday when I have kids as Ian would say: If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re sure not picking anything up. You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter’s body, I will remove them.

I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don’t take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose his compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object.

However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist. I’m sure you’ve been told that in today’s world, sex without utilizing a “barrier method” of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

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